Why Does Healing Take So Long?
You're probably wondering why the pain hasn't gone away. Maybe you're asking yourself when will it be finally over. Well you've come to the right place. Here, we will walk through various reasons as to why healing isn't something that can happen overnight with a bowl of chunky monkey. Remember healing isn’t a race or about bragging rights. You don’t just go to the gym one day and expect dramatic results do you? Healing is about patience and consistency.
Healing actually requires 5 key steps and before you say anything negative and roll your eyes, just know once you complete each step, you will feel much better. But if you are still having trouble, we will redo that step until you feel free! You will not do this alone. The only commitment I ask of you is to remain determined on your end goal, to heal from everything that has ever held you back. Now before we dive into our sessions, just know this will be a five week course that will require your undivided attention and participation. Are you up for the challenge? Are you ready to be set free?
Welcome to week one.
This week is all about Acknowledgment. To acknowledge something is to identify it, to express recognition of its presence or existence, to become acquaintance with such moments in your life. I can go on and on, but what many don't understand is this is the most difficult step. To acknowledge something means you have to open up whatever wounds you‘ve covered. This means addressing the elephant in the room-- your abuser, your parents, alcohol, drugs, even yourself. This means you have to be ok with saying it OUT LOUD!! You must address them and identify their parts in such events. You’ll have to remember specifically what happened to you without questioning the “why” but addressing the “who”. For example, growing up I was always keeping things hidden. You could never tell there was anything wrong with me because I always smiled. I conditioned myself to sweep everything under the rug no matter how ugly it became. Until I broke down one day while driving to a friend‘s house. I instantly wanted to end my life and didn’t think twice about it, but God. I couldn’t stop crying about all the things I left hidden like the verbal abuse I experienced from my family or the insecurities I held on to from being bullied. That night was one of the hardest moments of my life. That same night I stared at myself in the mirror and said it was time for a change. I had to acknowledge there was in fact an issue within myself and those who I allowed to hurt me. I bought a journal and began writing down everything I kept hidden. I even wrote a blog post about such events titled “What I Didn’t Want You To Know” where I publicly addressed my traumas and let’s just say.. it was rough. I was called a liar, but my truth held me up. I was called bitter, but I pressed through. But that’s what acknowledgement is… rough, but sure enough it is manageable.
My question for you is, how will you acknowledge your traumas? Will you write them down? Speak to a therapist? Family member? Friend perhaps?
Whichever you decide, be sure to give it your all. Now I’m sure you’re wondering all the possible “what ifs”. What if no one listens to me? What if I shut down? What if things get too heated and I’m forced to leave everything unresolved? Listen, don’t worry about the what if moments and focus on the “I’m taking control of my end goal” moments. If no one is willing to listen, write down your traumas.. talk out loud .. draw it out. Do whatever you can to get that pain OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM!! Make sense? Now I’m counting on you to get this done because next week we will talk about step two: acceptance.
I’m always here and we will heal together!!