Ms. Georgia Mae, the Wait is Over.
It's been over a year now and I still say, “Damn, my grandma is really gone”. I have to admit I tried to pretend as if this was another one of those “ hypothetical situations” - a “what would you do if” situation where I’d be able to answer or not just because I knew this wasn’t going to happen, but instantly my heart reminds me that this is now my reality. I question if you’re proud of me. Truly proud of me. When you were here I only showed you what I wanted you to see and now you see the things I wish I could hide from you. I’m embarrassed because I know you’d want more for me, but I’m confident in knowing you would never judge me.
She loved my wedding photos but I’m sure she would have preferred to be there in person. She congratulated me and said as long as my husband treats me the way I deserve to be treated, he’s alright with her.
Before she died, I held her hand and asked her to stay a little longer. I begged God to keep her here because I needed her. But I’m sure he needed her more than any of us. A week prior she asked me about school. I laugh because that’s usually what most of our conversations were about. School, work and men. She asked me was I still going and I rolled my eyes and said “yeah I’m ready to quit though”. She looked at me & said “awe nah you keep going & even though I won’t be there to see you just know I’m there in spirit cheering you on”. And in that moment I knew, it was all for her.
The promise I made was that I’d finish school, graduate & become the journalist I’ve always longed to become.
Well Gaga, lets just say I haven’t failed you.
I remember writing this post and instantly felt relieved. I made it Gaga! I graduated and finally I'm living in my truth. Although I wasn't able to physically walk across the stage, just know it was only because of you I even made it to the end. I'm sure people will read this and instantly question their position, but this is bigger than them. I am not discrediting anyone, but I will give credit to you for the promise I made and the consistency you've shown through my college experience. I'm relieved to say I kept my promise. I'm even more relieved to say I did not fail you. I miss you so much and would love to hear your laugh again. To even hold your hand again. Things are so different down here, but I'm sure things are even better in heaven.
we meet again Gaga. My beautiful guardian angel.