You know writing this was a complete struggle because for so long I thought it was necessary to "accept" everything I faced. I convinced myself if I didn't complain or if I just went with the flow of things, I wouldn't have to "worry" about anything. Because of this mindset, I became comfortable with being mistreated by people who "loved" me and I missed out on loving myself. For me, I was accepting, but I was wrong and here's why. I have never taken myself seriously. No, I wasn't a joke, but I allowed fear to take over. When Covid hit, I wasn't safe mentally and this caused me to fall into a deep depression. My environment was toxic and I am not kidding, but trust we will discuss this more when the time is right. I believed I had to accept depression because everyone around me didn't have a clue as to what I felt and explaining my feelings made me uncomfortable. That's just typical Symone I guess, speak when necessary, but remain silent always. I tricked myself into believing I was strong enough to handle all I accepted, but it was actually killing me.
What we fail to realize is acceptance has nothing to do with liking or choosing or even supporting anything. Acceptance is about giving yourself permission to be as you are, feel what you feel, or have experienced what you've experienced without creating unproductive shame or anxiety behind it. I guess it's normal for us to feel as if acceptance is our ticket to freedom. "Maybe if I do this, they'll like me a little more", we say. I'm guilty of this. I have conformed and changed who I was so people didn't think I was boring or too scared to do certain things. This didn't get me far because nothing I did or said changed their perception of me. Growing up I was always told I harped over friendships, but what I failed to realize was that I only needed to be myself with all of my friendships. I had to learn to trust myself. How many of us have been in a situation where we questioned our position? Whether it be your position on your job or in your relationship, you managed to question your acceptance. Because you didn't get what you needed, you believed you were the problem. It happens. But it also ends today.
The beauty behind this is knowing when it's the right time to start accepting yourself. Learning to love yourself is far more greater than being loved by anyone else. In today’s society, it’s scary to believe how many people would rather beg for the acceptance of others than to simply accept themselves. It’s almost as if they’re seeking approval from people who could honestly care less about anything they have going on. Oh what a terrible mindset is this to have. If you can’t accept who you are, why waste time begging for another’s acceptance? Can anyone tell me what there is to gain from this kind of behavior? Absolutely nothing. I am aware acceptance comes from self love and self love is often taught through the actions of others. When you see love, you mimic love. When you see strength, you mimic strength and so forth. Everything we are comes from a reflection or an action we've witnessed.
We must understand that when we begin accepting ourselves, things will always fall into place and through it all, God will be there to guide us. Remember to love yourself, trust yourself and accept yourself because I mean hey, you're all you have when they no longer accept you. But by then, it wouldn't even matter because you're above their foolishness.